Practice Self-Compassion When You Need to Rest

 Photo by  Giulia Bertelli  on  Unsplash
Compassion for Others begins with Kindness to Ourselves.
— Pema Chodron

Setting this goal of writing one blog post per week was a big deal for me. I put it off for a long time for many reasons, including that I knew a week like this one would come - I'm tired, mentally and physically. I have no bandwidth for focusing or critical thinking. Researching and composing an engaging post feels REALLY hard right now. Too hard.

I'm not even stressed - I'm exhausted from all good things. Today I returned from a quick trip to Lake Chelan with my parents who are in town. It was great; a fun and relaxing mini-vacation. But I'm depleted from all the driving and time outdoors in the hot and super smoky air. And like anyone with messy old kitties, I spent a lot of time and energy deep-cleaning my house prior to my parents' arrival. I knew I'd be tired from a busy weekend, but thought I could still cover the blog post topic I'd planned.

But, I was wrong. The usual energy boost methods aren't enough so I'm spending my time instead recharging my batteries with the methods that work for me: taking naps, doing yoga, eating well, playing in my garden, moving mindfully. More importantly than writing a content-rich post, I want to be rested and fully present for working hands-on with clients this week. So I've decided to go easier on myself today; to be Self-Compassionate and honor my mind and body's need for rest. 

In the past I would have taken the road of Self-Criticism, telling myself all of the ways in which I could have better prepared for this week and beating myself up for not writing the post in advance. Or I may have listened to my Inner Critic saying "you'll never complete this goal so just give up now." But neither of those voices actually serves me in a healthy way. And after practicing enough Self-Compassion, I've learned how to recognize the Inner Critic voices and not to listen to them anymore. 

Self-Compassion is not a way of judging ourselves positively. Self-Compassion is a way of relating to ourselves kindly... embracing ourselves, flaws and all.
— Kristin Neff

The interesting part of this Self-Compassion moment, is that when I let myself "off the hook" for the topic I'd planned, I realized that I could share this as a topic. It requires less of my energy to relate my current experience. So ironically, by allowing myself to not meet my weekly goal, I found the inspiration to still achieve it! And I'm acknowledging the feeling that this is just a "filler" blog post and that it is also okay. 

Sometimes we have to rest and "do less" than what we planned in order to have energy to do more in the future. The next time your inner critic starts speaking loudly when you're too tired to do something well, check in with your voice of Self-Compassion. If you need help finding that voice, try this guided meditation by one of my favorite teachers, Tara Brach. Remember to start small and practice daily. Like any unfamiliar habit, it takes time and repetition to learn to be kind to ourselves